interesting or not

it's interesting what we come to realize in our years of life. in my soon to be 44 years of life i have learned and realized that love comes to you when you are not seeking it. that while money can not make you happy, it sure can make things a little easier. and there are some people, in this life, that are not really seen.

here is the background to that last realization. when i was quite small i seemed to have disappeared. my parents, family members and neighbors went on quite an extensive search for me. it even involved getting in vehicles and driving around the nearby streets. i was approximately 18 months old. i have been told that they looked, several times through our very small home, and yet they could not "find" me. after looking everywhere my mum walked into the house and there i sat on the couch drinking a bottle. quiet, safe and i suppose content. they were never able to figure out exactly where i had been or why i hadn't been seen if i was sitting there in plain sight. this same thing happened two other times in my life. once when i was a few months older, a little past the age of two. we had moved to pacific grove, to the house i wrote about in this post. there again i seemed to disappear only to be found later in plain sight. the last time that i am aware this occurred i was a young woman and was fascinated at the fact that i seemed to not be seen even though i was completely visible. i became tickled with the reaction of the person after i walked out of the same room we had both occupied by the only door in and out. they were shocked and surprised and a little startled to become aware of me following them. now i must admit i did not reply to the co-worker calling my name. i didn't think i needed to since they had looked straight into my eyes and i only assumed they had "seen" me. i assumed since they left the room they simply needed me to follow them, plus i was dead curious to see if they had not been aware of my presence. and by their reaction i realized that for what ever reason i was not present, or seen by them.

so why do i bring this up? well as of late i have felt that i am not being seen. or heard for that fact. i tell my children things and they do not hear me. I realize this is actually a very normal thing but it doesn't help. i will talk to my husband and then when i bring up the prior subject he is unaware for what i am talking about. i am for the most part ignored in the morning at my job, which really is probably for the best. and i have blogged, and posted things to facebook, and tweeted only to have the words typed float off into oblivion. i have been so very fortunate to have one loyal commenter, on this blog, the wonderful and knittingly amazing miss amybel. that helps remind me that i have not completely disappeared. this feeling of not being seen had been bothering me until i came to the realization that for what ever reason i was just not one of the people in this life that would get recognition. i found i was suddenly ok with that. that i won't mind not being seen.

and then i joined (?) pinterest. have you heard of this site? i had seen it mentioned on twitter but didn't know much about it. i then decided i wanted to have a visual display of things that i find on the web that interested me or wanted a snapshot of to have as a referral. i found the name and requested an invitation. at first i must admit i was a wee bit perplexed about what to do but found it very intuitive and easy to maneuver. i then found it to be quite fun to go searching for things to pin to my boards. i'm not sure if that is how others do it, but it's how i use it. most days i find it easier to look on the web than craft with the little ones. that way i'm not stopping a creative process to take care of the boys, but simply a visual process, which i find easier to return to. on pinterest you can search other people's board and see what they have pinned. if you like something on their boards then you can either like the item or repin it to one of your boards. from what i have seen there is no limit to how many boards you can create and no limit to how many items are on those boards. in pinning things to my boards i have rediscovered things i have liked, paper dolls, and have a new way to keep them fresh in my mind. it has made me try and bring out things that have bumped around in my noggin, like my vision of a craft room.

so how does belonging to pinterest fit in with not being seen. it doesn't really. it actually negates it. for other people have repinned things that i find interesting. for some reason this always shocks me. pleases me but surprises me. one reason is the fact that i had accepted the whole not being seen thing and the fact that i'm not sure how they find my board when there are so many others. i also find it interesting and fun when someone that has repinned something from me has something else on one of their boards that mirrors another one of my interests.

so i guess i am seen by people on a certain wavelength. which is still fine by me.

cheers!